"Imagine a relationship where the total focus is on you, on what you want in your life, and on what will help you achieve it. The coaching relationship is like that. It is unique. There is no other relationship in our lives that consistently offers this extraordinary level of support and encouragement … it is like having your own personal navigator for the journey of your life: someone who will help you find your way and stay on course.
Imagine someone who listens to the very best in you, even when you can't hear it in yourself. Imagine someone who will hold you accountable (with light hands) and keep you moving forward toward your dreams and goals. Imagine a relationship with someone who is totally curious about your dreams and aspirations, what makes you tick, what you value, what you are most passionate about in your life … a person who will help you clarify your goals and provide the tools for action and learning that lead to the results you want.
Imagine a relationship in your life with a person who is sometimes even more committed to what you want in your life than you are. Imagine what it would be like if someone knew your values and life purpose and was holding you true to them … someone who would hold the flag at the top of the hill, encouraging you to press on, someone to celebrate your victories and help you learn from your setbacks.
Imagine a relationship with someone who will absolutely tell you the truth - the truth about where you are strong, for example, and where you sell yourself short … someone who sees how big you can be and constantly holds that big image for you - even when you can't hold it for yourself. Imagine a relationship where you finally break free of those self-limiting conversations you've been having over the years - where now the voices of defeat and sabotage are simply noticed for what they are and the powerful part of you is always encouraged. Imagine talking with this person every week, even when you've just made a mess of things or … when you've had great success."
This is what coaching is all about.
This is what having a personal life coach feels like.
"People come to coaching because they want things to be different. They are looking for change or have an important goal to reach. They may want to write a book, or start a business, or have a healthier body … they may want to be more effective at work … they may hire a coach because they want to create more order and balance in their lives. Sometimes people want more from life … more peace of mind, more simplicity, more joy - and sometimes they want less … less confusion, less stress, less financial pressure. In general, people come to coaching because they want a better quality of life."
The above information on coaching
is quoted from "Co-Active Coaching",
by Laura Whitworth, Henry House, and Phil Sandahl.
Coaching can be done in-person or over the phone. Some coaches see the client for the first time (if the client is local) in person, and then have weekly telephone sessions. When it's possible, I think this is great. However, if it's not feasible to meet in person, coaching can be done very successfully by telephone, even for the initial session. In fact, I have spoken with many coaches who never see their clients face-to-face.
If you are not in the nearby North Carolina area, and you decide to begin coaching with me, I will send or e-mail you some assessment materials. These are simple, yet powerful exercises that will help us determine where you are now … and what you want to create in your life (in one or several areas). Once you complete the exercises and return them to me, we can begin!
I usually like to spend at least 1 hour in person or over the telephone for the initial session. After that, we can determine what type of schedule will work best for you. Some clients speak to their coaches for 30 - 45 minutes once per week. Others prefer a longer session, perhaps a little less frequently. The wonderful part is that you can speak to your coach no matter where you are, so the continuity of the coaching relationship and your progress is not interrupted.
If you would like to talk with me
about coaching, please e-mail me and we can make arrangements for a free
telephone consultation.
Email Sara
Coaching for Your Relationship
Coaching is a great way to begin a lifetime together … or to get or keep you on the right track in your marriage or relationship. Your relationship does not have to be in trouble for you to hire a coach! In fact, a good coach can help you:
• Avoid many of the problems that
couples typically encounter.
• Successfully navigate the often challenging course of a committed
relationship.
If you are engaged, hiring a coach is perhaps the wisest investment you can make in your future together. Some of the areas I address with couples who come to me for pre-marital coaching are:
• Expectations
• Values
• Roles & Responsibilities
• Decision-Making
• Finances
• Parenting
• Relationships with in-laws and other extended family members
• Relationships with ex-spouses and lovers
• Stepfamily Dynamics (where appropriate)
• Balance & Priorities: Work, Home/Family, Friends, Hobbies, etc.
• Communication
• Conflict-Management
• Intimacy (Emotional & Physical)
So many couples marry with the hope and expectation that things will just fall into place…that we shouldn't have to work at relationships, especially if we're "with the right person". And no wonder! Books and movies continue to romanticize marriage, and "happily-ever-after" is still very much in our consciousness … no matter what the statistics are telling us. And … the statistics are not bringing good news.
Sadly, over 50% of first marriages in the United States end in divorce … and for 2nd and 3rd marriages, the divorce rate is even higher. I believe that this rate can be significantly reduced if:
• We take the time to really get to know ourselves. This is the only way we can know what we truly want.
• We take the time to really get to know the person we are considering marrying. It's amazing what some of us don't know about each other when we take that walk down the aisle!
• We marry for the right reasons. (I have written more about this; please see my Articles & Information section.
• We acquire the skills necessary to relate to each other in positive and effective ways. No one teaches us how to have a healthy, happy primary relationship. If our parents had or have one, we are very lucky and had great role models. However, it has been my experience that most of us need a little help in this department.
• We invest at least as much time and energy (and hopefully a lot more) in "Continuing Education for Relationships" as we do in our careers, hobbies/interests, homes, other pursuits, etc.
The best way to ensure a wonderful and lasting marriage is to get off to a great start. A Marriage/Relationship Coach can help you both create the kind of marriage you want and deserve.
Continuing the coaching process after the wedding (perhaps seeing or talking with your coach once per month) encourages you and your spouse to stay focused on the relationship and maintain the skills you've acquired.
Coaching for couples who are already married or in a committed relationship focuses on finding out where the challenges are, navigating the rough spots, acquiring new skills (when necessary), and creating and maintaining a successful and rewarding relationship.
If you would like to talk with me
about pre-marital or marriage/couples coaching, please e-mail me and we
can make arrangements for a free telephone consultation.
Email Sara
Dating … especially when we find ourselves single again after a marriage or intimate relationship ends … can be fun, liberating, and exciting; it can also be frustrating, scary, and confusing. The roles of men and women seem to be in constant flux, and singles of both genders are struggling to make sense of it all. Things just aren't as clear as they used to be.
The Internet has added a whole new dimension to the dating experience. Websites for singles offer an opportunity to search for love online … with just a click of the mouse. Many of these sites/companies also host a variety of events in different locations and post them on their websites.
Another option for singles is the relatively new "Speed Dating". A group of people (usually an equal number of men and women) meet at a designated location, and spend a few minutes talking with each member of the opposite gender. At the end of the event, everyone turns in the names of the people they are interested in seeing again. If both people have written the other's name, a connection is made.
Despite the divorce statistics, it is obvious that we haven't given up on love. Nor should we! A loving, supportive intimate relationship fulfills so many of our basic human needs, including our need for belonging, for physical touch, for emotional intimacy, for sexual pleasure … for love. Most of us want this kind of relationship in our lives. And so, the question becomes: how do we sift through the world of singles and find someone with whom we are compatible?
I believe we do this best with our heads as well as hearts … with patience, a good dose of common sense and a lot of information. We take our time … we keep our eyes open … and we listen, even as our hearts are fluttering … and, hopefully, we learn from each experience.
Some of the most frequent questions I hear from singles are:
• How do I meet people?
• Do I have to go to singles events?
• How do I write a profile?
• How do I make sense of someone else's profile?
• What are the warning signs, the red flags, that I should look for?
• How do I know if I'm still on the rebound? If he/she is still on the rebound?
• How will I know if things are moving too fast and what's the best way to slow things down?
• When is the appropriate time to disclose significant information? (a prior or chronic illness, for example)
• How and when do I broach the subject of "safe sex"?
• How can I be sure enough and know when it's time to commit?
• How do I know when it's time to let go and move on?
• When is the right time to introduce my children to my new girl/boyfriend?
• When is the right time for me to meet his or her children?
• Why do his/her kids ignore me … dislike me … act out when I'm around?
• How do I cope with rejection?
• How do I let someone know I'm not interested without hurting his or her feelings?
A dating coach can help you -- sort through your feelings, stay conscious/alert in the process, clarify your values, identify your "negotiables" and your "deal-breakers" (Thanks, Dr. Phil!), recognize "red flags" and decide what to do about them, cope with rejection and loss -- and support you throughout your dating experience.
If you are single and would like to talk
with me about coaching, please e-mail me and we can make arrangements
for a free telephone consultation.
Email Sara
